Netflix documentary sparks a debate about arranged marriages. Through an ensemble cast of astrologers, face readers, priests, prospective grooms, brides, and parents armed with endless lists of demands on caste, height and skin color, viewers are taken on a voyeuristic tour of the complicated process of matchmaking in India, where 10 million nuptials take place every year. The controversial series has triggered multiple memes, jokes and criticism on social media. It is also polarizing public opinion among those who prefer love marriages and those who endorse arrangements. In the process, however, the biggest casualty has been nuance, with not even a nod to the golden middle path. When I got married, my husband and I were introduced through senior family members. We dated for six months to test our compatibility before getting married on Feb.
Marriage Matching (Kundli Milan), Matchmaking
All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations.
Caste is a complicated concept described in the Encyclopedia Britannica as a form of hierarchical social order practised by Hindus in south Asia.
This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. I grew up always expecting an arranged marriage. Several happy couples I knew were introduced by their families, and my own Pakistani parents met for the first time on their wedding day. But when the time came, my brief foray into the world of desi matchmaking left me so frustrated, I swore off the practice completely.
There, I had made an offhand comment about being an introvert which ended up twisted in the wrong way. The true horror? Fortunately, I turned to online dating and found my amazing husband on the Muslim version of Tinder. I preferred being able to develop a relationship in privacy rather than having our families dissect every word we said to each other. Instead, I finished hate-watching the show more frustrated than ever. Much has been written about how the series lays bare some of the most harmful aspects of arranged marriage, but does nothing to challenge them.
After a strong backlash, several other viewers have come out in defence of the series, arguing that it exposes the culture around Indian matchmaking, presenting it unflinchingly for what it is, no holds barred.
Even For A Queer Person In South Africa, Indian Matchmaking Hits Close To Home
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Eligible South Asian singles must be over the age of 25, have a Bachelors Degree, and physically be located within the US or Canada. Active Client. If you would.
Indian Matchmaking, an eight-episode documentary series that follows Sima Taparia a matchmaker from Mumbai on her quest to find the perfect partner for a mix of South Asian people, both in India and in the U. Add to Chrome. Sign in. Home Local Classifieds. News Break App. NBC News.
Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” Unpacked by 4 South Asian Women
After her clients lay out their criteria for a partner, Taparia heads back to Mumbai to explore her database filled with information about the men and women she works with, ranging from height and age to caste and family background. Once she finds an appropriate match for her client, she relays their information to the family. Jet-setting matchmaker Sima Taparia takes pride in her work and expansive clientele.
She refuses to acknowledge the fact that some of her clients may just need a little more time to make such a life-altering decision. Rather problematically, Taparia constantly reifies colorism in her matchmaking. Nadia Jagessar smiles during her date with Vinay Chadha not pictured while conversing about their mutual hatred of ketchup.
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But critics say it normalizes damaging and outdated ideas of classism and colorism that mar traditional approaches to arranged marriages. Some say that that move does not go far enough.
Waiting For the ‘Robotic Shuttle’ of South Asian Representation
I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show.
indian matchmaking netflix criticism unfair: Sima Aunty poses in a tweeters made me realize that I may be the only South Asian woman who.
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When Indian Matchmaking aired on Netflix, the Internet immediately exploded with theories, questions and memes about its participants. The show followed Sima Taparia, a matchmaker from Mumbai, as she tried to find matches for her clients – one of them being Pradhyuman Maloo. Pradhyuman, a jewellery designer from Mumbai, has now opened up about his experience of participating in Indian Matchmaking and how the Netflix show raised questions about his sexuality in an interview with ‘ Humans of Bombay ‘.
In the interview, Pradhyuman also spoke about watching his mother navigate the the male-dominated business of jewellery, the “predetermined” storyline of the show and the mockery that the LGBTQ community has been subjected to. On the show, Pradhyuman was depicted as the South Bombay man who rejected a string of proposals and was completely at ease in the kitchen, whipping up nitrogen fox nuts and fancy drinks with ease. In his interview, he has hinted – like other contestants before him – that his character on the show was given an unfair representation.
Houston lawyer Aparna Shewakramani, now 35, is one of the South Asian Americans who participated in the first season of Netflix’s “Indian.
Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged.
Even college-educated, urban, middle-class Indians show a strong preference to marry within caste. Muslims in South Asia marry within their biradari or jaat — a stand-in for Hindu caste. The reason Guyanese-born Nadia faces a limited set of options in the show is not because of her South American birth, but because Indians who were shipped as indentured laborers to the New World were mostly lower castes, or so perceived.
When the purpose of marriage is to find love, companionship and compatibility, then the focus is on the characteristics of the individual. The marriage market is akin to a matching market, similar to Tinder or Uber. But, in a world where marriage exists to maintain caste lines, the nature of the marriage market more closely resembles a commodity market, where goods are graded into batches. Within every batch, the commodity is substitutable — as in wheat or coffee exchanges.
This is why reading matrimonial ads or listening to Sima going over biodatas — a kind of matrimonial resume — is triggering for many Indian women.
Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ is only too accurate
Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.
In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride.
Right at the beginning of the Netflix hit show Indian Matchmaking, As Aparna says, “There is a collective feminine South Asian voice that is.
And of course I have. I really cannot stress this enough: Agrabah is not a real place! The genre, after all, encapsulates so much of the human condition, from its elegant docuseries to the shows where women throw wine at each other while their husbands mutter anti-gay slurs in the background. High art! A well-lit, well-produced, empathetic docuseries, it follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she tries to set up Indians both in India and the US for arranged marriages.
But both series have felt unsatisfying to me.
Sexism, Colourism and Aunty Gaze: A Review of Indian Matchmaking
But we improvised — we had weddings. It was a stage production, a moment when family, ritual, food and culture coalesced. As a little queer boy, I was enamored by the performance of it all. I watched from behind the curtains as entire productions came togethe r writes Gabriel Hoosain Khan. But with any good stage production it takes the right cast. In the Indian Muslim culture in which I grew up in Joburg the ritual begins with finding the right match.
new show Indian Matchmaking. Arranged marriages are something that are very commonly associated with the South Asian community, but.
Unless you are living under a rock, you already know about Indian Matchmaking, the new eight-part reality show on Netflix, which is making waves across the country. The show created by independent filmmaker Smriti Mundhra takes us through the world of high-profile Mumbai-based wedding matchmaker Sima Taparia. If you have already finished binge-watching Indian Matchmaking and if you are craving for more similar content, here is a list of south Indian movies that have tackled the various challenges of arranged marriages.
Available on Amazon Prime Video. But, it is also an exchange of wealth and culture. Starring Vijay and Simran in the lead roles, the film follows the emotional struggles when a couple enters a contractual wedding. Available on MX Player. Well, it is not easy when you have a doting father who controls your every move. Available on ZEE5.